LittleBigLove

Little Big Planet is a game I want. I mean, Little Big Planet is a game I REALLY want. More than any game I've ever bought, LBP is perhaps the only game I've ever truly wanted so much. And it's for the Playstation 3.

I don't have a Playstation 3.

I can't AFFORD a Playstation 3.

Anyway. I found this display in Osaka today. It featured totally adorable gameplay and interviews with extremely happy J-players. It nearly brought a tear to my eye. Because I may never play this game. Ever.

A Spedal Gun

Here's a little gem for all you game fans.

A gun.

Not just any gun. A soft-pellet, Chinese-made crapfest of a gun that cost me about 630円.

When I opened it up, I was treated to a little surprise:
That's right, I've got my very own S.T.A.R.S. Racoon Police Department handgun from the Resident Evil games. It's probably not really from the game, more like some Chinese guy thought it would be cool to through it up there.

The best part, if you look real close, it's made especially for the 'Spedal Team".

Gundamn You!!!

What's been popular in Japan for a while are these third-person Mobile-Suit Gundam shooters. I think they're god-awful myself. Horribly unbalanced, terrible controls. But the kids here love 'em, and the newest fashion is the Gundam Pod. These bubbles of plastic, metal and wires are person booths, encase you in total Gundamness. Each one is linked to the other so you've got a-plenty of a-people trying to shoot and bash each other in the comfort of confinement. Onlookers can't watch through the booths, so they get to watch on am LCD screen outside (see below).

I personally had an idea similar to this many years ago. Instead of Gundam, however, it would be Macross (or Robotech to us westerners). I thought it would be cool to dogfight in these things, but apparently, like so many times before, I was beaten to the punch.

Half-Life 2: Survivor Arcade

With bonus shakey-cell-camera!

Every once in a while (aka, very rarely), I stop into a game arcade. This mostly happens when my wife wants to hit up some purikura (Photobooth) action. The last time I was walking about around Namba in Osaka I stopped in a game center in one of the arcades near the central train hub. (You'll notice the terminology, dear Americans - where an Arcade is not a room full of video games, but a long strip feature hundreds of stores and restaurants.) I found this. Half-Life 2: Survivor, a seated shooter based on the famous PC/Xbox game.

It's a big, speaker laden chair equipped with foot pedals and two flight joysticks. After putting in your 100円, You can choose from a multiplayer mode that uses some characters from the game, and some new ones as well. This I didn't try. Instead, I went for the campaign mode where you do your part to save the world from the evil Combine.

The game is missing something. That, pizzaz, that life that Half-Life had. It was just wave of combine soldier after wave that comes after you, slowly. The little snippets of game that you play come from the game, but so much is skipped. Especially anything involving the zombies. Didn't see a single one.

Not to mention the controls are ludicrously horrid. Trying to use the two different joysticks is a wreck, with all the buttons and configurations. Simply moving forward was not happening at too many points during my time. And such a short time it was. New games today let you play on a time limit, instead of being based on wins. Back in the day, if you died in a game, you pump in another coin. Now, you have to drop some dough every five minutes, two songs, three levels, etc. BOO!

What a Shitey Day...

So last night I was unable to sleep well. I fell asleep around 1:45, almost two, only to be awoken a couple of hours later by my son, Nolan, for feeding time. He got back to sleep around five, only to wake up at seven again. After that, no sleepy for the Mikey. I did my best to allow my wife to sleep for the whole night, which worked out. However, it meant that I was ridiculously lost on sleep. This put a lot of pressure on Meg as she needed my help, but all I am is a zombie struggling to stay alive.

Emotions than began flying ALL day. Doom and Gloom, people. Doom and Gloom. Everything has worked itself out in the end, but damn, was that a long road. It's late right now, and I shall be off to bed soon, so I can wake up early. It's game day tomorrow. It's also go get our insurance worked out day. And it's also the last day for my new illustrations to get done for Kansai Scene.

Speaking of which...

I did do another illustration that's in the current Kansai Scene, the free magazine here in the Kansai area of Japan. Check it out in my portfolio!

Soy Boy

Oh, and here's a little jewel! It's more moving pictures of the Nolan! Hurrah!

'Still Alive' Is Still SOOO Cute!

I Love the game Portal by Valve. It's a Third-Person-Shooter Puzzle game where a simple test of ability and science turns deadly due to a hilariously deranged computer. The end of the game featured one of the coolest songs to come out of a video game, and here, someone made a pretty sweet video using the lyrics as the main characters. Below is the even CUTER version of the song done for the Japanese version of the game. Enjoy!

Portal 'Still Alive Typography' clip

Portal 'Still Alive JPN Translation' video

Playing Catch-up (with bonus video)

I've been working somewhat hardish to finish the redesigns of all the other blogs I have linked to this thing, which has proven to be a bit more difficult than it should be.

However, the time is nearly here and hopefully all things will go smoothly, including some new Internet Explorer fixes that I'll give a go. If they don't work this time, I'm telling everyone to fuck off with that IE6 bullshit. I am not going to be nice about it.

But while you're here, I'll give you a bit of catch up...

Roller Baby

My wonderfully adorable son, Nolan has finally begun rolling around on his own, much to the horror of his already exhausted and not-so-alert parents. He tends to roll onto his side when he gets sleepy, but now he occasionally rolls to far, which then perplexes and upsets him. He's getting a bit more used to it. The next step? Rolling back.

I Hate The New Facebook

With no option to go back to the old style, Facebook users have been stuck with a new, and immediately distasteful new design. It's not that I think the new design is terrible per se. It's just that the mini-feed has been integrated with the wall posts, and I can't organize my (very few) applications the way I want them. I mean, thanks Facebook, for the obligatory 'Boxes' tab that no one bothers with.

I Watched A REAL Movie

I finally saw The Dark Knight! It was killing me that I hadn't been to see it, and now it's officially the very first movie that I've ever seen alone in a movie theater. In the west, for the most part, you're seen as a loser if you see movies on your own. Here, in Japan, people's schedules are all sorts of messed up, making the outing - if you can afford the nearly US $20 price tag - much more acceptable. Full review to come during the week.

Blogger Did Something Funny To My Blog

The last time I posted something serious, my blog looked great - except in IE6, but that shit's shit. When I cam back to it a while later, the posts were all coming up at the bottom of the page. I combed my HTML, but not being a complete master, I missed the little code that wasn't there before. The little code that sent it all down there. Thanks to a guy named T E D, I could fix everything up, good as new - except in IE6, but that shit's shit.

Rearranging

On Thursday, my wife and I spent almost seven hours rearranging our front room into an all-around hang-out room. My workspace and our TV and other creature comforts have been put in here, making our old living room into more of a family/guest room. Despite some early moaning from me, it's actually turned out quite nice. However, my muscles sing quite a different tune.

Sexy Disgustingness

I'm once again published in the free English Magazine, Kansai Scene. My artwork is for a piece on Japan's Ero-Guro (Erotic-Grotesque) culture, and is based on Rashoomon (Yes, there ARE two 'Os' there). For now, you can see it on the Kansai Scene website. That is, until my portfolio redesign goes through.

I Just Finished Cutting My Nails

Ahhh...

Nolan's First Laugh

Hi there, just testing this crap!

Apparently, and through no fault of mine I should say, my posts have dropped to the bottom of the page.
Don't know why.
It's driving me mad.

Help.

On Better Babies

Ah, The Power of Cheese Soy

Well, my wife took little Nolan to the hospital on Tuesday, with hopes to seeing the same, wondrous female pediatrician I talked about last time. Yeah, no such luck.

As I had believed it was an allergy, my wife naturally didn't believe me. She 'kinda' did, but no. Then my mom sent us an email saying pretty much the same thing. 'Oh! Then maybe it's an allergy. Glad I thought of it.' (^_^)v Anyway, since apparently mediterranean and asian babies are more likely to be allergic to cows milk, and since he's 75% mediterranean and asian, Meg checked with this old man, who tested him for milk and eggs.

Nothing happened at first, so the doctor dismissed anything bad. Several hours later, a mark appeared on his right arm which told the doctor that he had an 'egg allergy'. This sounded strange to both of us as there's no one in our families that are allergic to eggs (that we know of). Before finding this out, however, we decided to reduce the amount of milk he drank, and switch from milk to soy. It's a lot more expensive, but, hell, give it a shot. It worked for me when I was a kid and couldn't drink cow milk.

An you know what, it's working, so far. He's no longer overly gassy, no more constant screaming (usually). He's happier! The only side effect so far is that his poo is harder, which is supposed to be normal when switching to soy. After five days, however, if it doesn't get better, I guess there's a problem.

Here's to a lifetime of Nolan being ever so healthy!

On Sick Babies and New Apartments

Good Ol' Mukonoso! "It's Very Nice!"

Well, this is the first real, non-video game related post I've made since moving into the new apartment. Hooray for much smaller and slightly smellier apartments! I only say smellier because of the rice fields next door that get a healthy dose of manure daily! Woo hoo!

It's a nice place and all, and a hell of a lot more convenient than the last place. Cheaper, too. I could do without the Yankee and Big-Car Driving hosts of our building, but what are you going to do? (I hate young people!)

Everytime I mention to Japanese co-workers that I now live ing Mukonoso, everyone immediately tells me that, 'OOOH! That's a very nice place!" When upon asking if they've ever been there, they so no. And I don't see why anyone would want to go, except to spend time with friends or relatives. There's no real appeal. It's a nice small city, but nothing extra ordinary.

My Poor Poor Squidgle

Nolan's been a bit under the weather these days. Last Monday, he started coughing and choking on his milk. After drinking, and for a long time after that, he would have terribly painful gas that refused to come out. Patting and rubbing his back only seemed to make it worse. This pain and constant crying would then make him ridiculously sleepy, which would make the crying worse.

This, of course, has lead to my wife having several panic attacks and generally being stressed out for the past week. Not a minute goes by that she isn't constantly checking on him. I tell her, whenever possible, that she shouldn't drive herself crazy over this. We know he's sick. We know we don't know what to do right now. Making yourself nuts over this situation is no good for her OR the baby. Of course, this doesn't always work.

We've been to two pediatric clinics in the area. Both times, the doctors would listen to the heart and check his throat. Both times they would give a superiorly vague analysis, then throw a bunch of medicine our way. Hooray for the Japanese medical system, where in order for a clinic to survive, a doctor must say little and push drugs! Sounds eerily like another country I know. I don't want to name names, but it's initials are The United States of America!

Anyway, towards the end of the week, we went to the local hospital where we talked to (and by we, as always, I mean my wife) a very nice pediatrician who took a lot of time to ask questions, answer ours and describe what might be happening. Today he's going back for some scheduled tests that hopefully tell us what's going on.

Soul Calibur IV (Bandai Namco)

With the fail of the allowing of the playing of my other fighting game, Capcom Vs SNK 2EO, I thought it about time that I a new one. One that actually works with my Xbox 360 as promised. One with big tools and voluptuous women. It was time I got Soul Calibur IV.

Now, I was never a huge fan of the Soul Calibur. In fact, the only arcade fighters that I really enjoy come from Capcom (mostly). However, as more and more came out about this game, the more and more I saw it, taunting me on the shelf, the more I had to wrap my skinny, pink little fingers around it. And so I made it mine. And here it is...

The Stories

In this game, there are well over twenty characters to choose from, and each has their own story that eventually link over this one singular quest. To get a hold of one or both of two very powerful swords, Soul Edge and Soul Calibur. If they do so, some believe that it can make their dreams of freedom or world domination come true. Others have the idea that if they destroy these swords, their souls will be saved, or the world even. What ever the motivation, it's going to be a hell of a fight in getting there.

In one of the last incarnations of the game, the rank of characters was joined by other console-exclusive characters, like Link from Legend of Zelda and Spawn of Todd McFarlane fame. This time around, to coincide with the release of the new Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (which I hear is not really all that exciting), you get two of three Star Wars characters. If you have the Xbox 360, you get Yoda. If you have the PS3, you get fun-tastic Darth, and both consoles get the Secret or Seeker or Whatever-the-Hell-He-Is Apprentice (I can never tell what the LucasArts guys are saying).

The Game

In this game, like many 3D fighters, each character has a set move list as long as both my arms and legs if they were sewn from end to end. Learning everything takes a LOT of time and patience. Neither of which I actually have, so it makes this game a little difficult. But no matter. I'm actually learning a lot by remember the sequences of buttons I've just mashed the hell out of. Fun! What would make this process a lot easier is easier access to the moves list.

When training, if you press pause, you have to go all the way down to the middle of the list every time you want to see it. This takes a huge chunk of time out of your learning time. It would be much better if when you select the move list, it stays up every time you pause until you back out, or even have it on screen. This wouldn't work if you have a small TV, so the option would be grand.

If you're playing by yourself, you have several modes you can play. First is the Story Mode where you play a single character against many, usually two or three at a time. When you complete it, each character gets there own ending animations that confuse as much as it dazzles. Ending it also unlocks all the weapons for that character.

Next is The Tower of Lost Souls where, if you ascend, you fight on two or three floors a round, with up to three characters you choose. If you descend, you choose two characters and try to get down as far as you can. Meeting certain challenges means you get certain rewards. I'll explain a little further later on. The tower is fun, but it does tend to test your skill. I've only reached the twentieth floor ascending (which unlocks the descent) and five levels descending before seeing the flaws in my game. "What flaws?" you ask. "I suck," I reply.

You can also play the eight level arcade version with the characters of your choice. When you win, you get cashola. Coin. Monetary Remuneration! Sweet.

Character Creation

What's all this money for? And what the hell are these 'rewards' you speak of? If you've read the title of this section, you'll see it's for, ahem, character creation. The rewards are clothing, accessories and armor (or armour for our British-English speaking friends) that you can use to change the look of the current characters, or create your own with. You're allotted fifty save spots in order to do this, one for each character.

Creating my own fighters is the selling point of this game for me. I read that it is that most magic of words, 'deep', and was ever-so excited. The money you earn helps you buy these armor pieces (and some other things, like characters and illustrations). Each armor piece, and indeed the weapon you buy and equip, have certain properties that allow you to upgrade your character. From upping your health points to making you stronger, the way you balance your clothing helps you to balance your abilities.

Those abilities can be chosen for each character as well as the face, the build, voice and hair. This is very complex and fun, but I don't really think it goes far enough. How about height? Sure you don't want characters so short they can't be grabbed and thrown, but height adds a lot to the character creation. How about age. The faces that they give, although slightly varied are also very limiting. If you love character creation, then you'll be seeing a lot of the same faces rolling around.

The last point about editing the SCIV characters, or your own, you can now play them online or in the single player modes, with all the added perks you've chosen. Hooray for fun!

Multiplayer

Now, I have yet to play online, but I will. In the meantime, I hear it's frickin' sweet with very little lag, if at all, present. That should make for some great game play and A LOT of trash talk with your friends. Or enemies. Or basement dwellers. More to come when I get my bollocks handed to me on a silver platter.

Update:

I've played on Xbox Live and the game play IS great! However, it's the PLAYERS I could do without. The structure is this: you sit in a queue and wait for your time to come to play (much like a real game center here in Japan when they get fresh and popular games). You can watch other people's fights or just wait. The more fights you win, the higher your Online rank will be.

I tried joining several open queues, only to be kicked out - probably because I don't have a high enough level. Whatever the reason, it still sucks, and so did they. Not a happy Mikey. I'm gonna stick with friends only with this title's multiplayer. Now, how to convince my wife to play...

In The End...

This is definitely worth a go if you need a new fighter. If you bore easily of huge, complex and confusing move lists, I hear you, but the characters! Ah, and the booby physics! All very worth while!


Go to the Soul Calibur IV homepage.

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Activision/Infinity Ward)

In the beginning, there was Medal of Honor. It was not the first in the way of World War II-themed First Person Shooters, but it made a clear distinction on what was good and what was Next-Gen for the time. However, over the years what was good about Medal of Honor quickly faded away until all the Franchise was was sticky mound of goo.

A real hole opened up and it was decided that a change was-a gonna come. Hope strode through on a tall white horse and called itself Barak Obama Call of Duty. It was a first person shooter like no other. With great graphics, a super cool engine, original multiplayer stuff and of course, the ability to play soldiers from three different countries, it truly was our savior. Although I never hit the first or the second game on the consoles, COD 1 and 2 quite rocked the crap out of my PC! Alas, I never played COD 3. Developed by a Treyarch and not Infinity Ward, many people complained about it. Without any real development time and other restraints, the COD series took a serious hit, and Treyarch was especially black-listed.

However, the horse rides anew, and Barak the franchise rises from the ashes with Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

The Story

Set during modern times, all heck has gone plum crazy in the world! In the middle east, a leader who promised real change and economic growth brought only McDonald's to the land, destroying the cattle industry and sending land prices through the roof. A terrorist group throws up a coup and fires the president, tied to a stake, with a BIG gun.

In Russia, a separatist movement - tired of the 400+ Japanese Restaurants carrying Kimura Takuya's picture - start a civil war that threatens to spread throughout the rest of the region. KimuTaku was unavailable for comment as he was too busy staring at himself in the mirror, making baby-talk about how pretty the man in the mirror really was - while pleasuring himself to the sounds of Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson - with the help of all the other SMAP members.

Unlike the other games in the Call of Duty Franchise, you will only play two different characters. You're the new boys in a platoon of the US Marines, and the British SAS. Your job? Bust through the terrorist threat and find out who's really pulling the strings of this global catastrophe and stop the world from going nuclear.

The Game

No longer using my Mac to play games, I can't comment on the the desktop version of the game. Only recently starting to play FPS games on a controller, the control set-up seemed a little weird to me in the beginning. It's a little complicated and sometimes hard to control. It's not the games fault however, as I have to learn how to hold my breath while looking down the scope and force myself to move out of position when sniping.

That's right. You've got to hold your breath! You've got two buttons for two grenades, a melee, jump and a position button when going in between prone, crouch and standing positions. Weapon reloads and selection and the D-pad is used for turning on your night-vision, selecting explosive devices and calling in helicopters and air-strikes. It's a lot, but you get used to it.

The visuals are gorgeous and highly detailed. The only thing that doesn't really work, I think is the water. You move through it like it isn't even there. The way the system works around the environment is really sweet. If you're hiding behind some tall grass, it's very likely you won't be seen (well, except on the highest difficulty setting. There, the bullets just fly at you.). And hiding behind walls isn't necessarily going to save you. Different weapons can shoot through the walls giving you damage.

Yeah! Multiplayer!

"It has the deepest Multiplayer action blah blah blah!" The first time you play online, if you are not some sort of game-playing aficionado, you are going to get your ass handed to you on a big ol' stick. It's going to be like that for a long time, too. This isn't Halo 3. There are no shields protecting you. You get shot, you die. This is real-life, bitch!

Anyway... The cool thing about COD4's multiplayer is that it gives you a lot of control. There's a perk and weapon attainment system that is combined with challenges. Challenges aren't 360 Achievements, however. All the achievements for the game are within the single-player, only.

Complete the challenges to unlock more weapons of different classes, from assault rifles to sub-machine guns to sniper rifles and more. Other challenges unlock perks, which are different abilities that give you different strengths, like carrying many grenades, or the ability to be invisible to the radar.

The number of kills you get in a row also gives you some advantages. Kill three in a row and get a radar. Kill five and get an air-strike on any position on the map. If you can kill seven, you get a helicopter that can kick the crap out of the enemy. However, if someone is lucky enough with bullets or have a couple rockets on hand, your bird can go down.

Unlike Halo, your teammates keep on coming. That is if you have an uneven team to begin with, or a couple people quit, the system logs more people on as they come online. The problem I have with this is that if you are the host of the game, you don't know it, and if you quit, the whole game goes kaput - for everyone. And lucky you, you get to hang around long enough to hear all the twelve-year-olds saying bad shit about you. Awesome!

The only other down-side of the multiplayer, besides my skills going from awesome into a nose dive to hell, is the spawning system. There is a good chance that when you spawn, you will die. More than half of my deaths, it seems, comes from being spawned in the middle of a bad-guy pow-wow. Sometimes two or three times in a row.

In The End...

If you love FPS games. Your collection is not complete without this one. And clean underwear. And pants. And couch... Wallow in it!

Go to the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare homepage.

The Orange Box (Valve)

It's a box. It's orange. It's delicious.

Valve, makers of the immensely popular Half-Life and Half-Life 2 have decided to put together a package ever so sweet. One bite and you're hooked! This one little DVD holds five games! Use you're fingers! FIVE!

Yes, that's right. The Box holds Half-Life 2, it's expansion games - Episodes One and Two, Team Fortress 2 and Portal! Wow! How can things get any better! I'll tell you how (>~<)!!! They could've added The first Half-Life Game! That would have been nice of them, but I know there's a space issue, so I'll forgive, though, never forget. Let's begin, shall we?

Half-Life 2

In the first Half-Life, you play happy-go-lucky scientist Gordon Freeman. He has little to do with his secret half-brother Morgan, spending most of his time trying to create some sort of inter-dimensional portal. And success! He succeeds in bringing a deadly invading army into our universe, which he ultimately destroys with his trusty crowbar, Gerty. However, Freeman's whisked away by a suited gentleman for later purposes.

Half-Life 2 opens with Gordon being needed again. This time, it's the future, one that has been overrun by the other-worlders. This time, however, some of the baddies are now goodies and help Freeman as he attempts to put things back the way they are. You meet some old friends, and new ones, too. Like Dog - a giant and lovable killing machine and his owner, Alyx. AAAAlyx. She's the kind of virtual vixen that every basement dweller dreams of - and will never, EVER meet! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

The graphics, which were already REALLY good get refined a bit further as it's now on a Next-Gen console. That means Alyx is even prettier than before... The consoles control schemes are pretty on the mark, but for a FPS, you really DO need a mouse and keyboard (in my opinion) for greater control. However, I've played this game on the PC as well, and have had no problems reintroducing myself to it. The physics in the game are great and are very relevant to gameplay. Half-Life 2 even sports the scariest moments I've ever had the pleasure of playing. The only problem I have with this game is the lack of hands. Gordon Freeman has no hands. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Episode One

At the end of HL2, Gordon is once again whisked away at an important junction of time. However, he's rescued and immediately placed back into danger. Hooray! That explosion you cause moments earlier, yeah, that screwed things up pretty badly, and you're (literally) thrown back into the thick of it. You're job now is to get as many people out of the city as possible before all things go boom! BOOM!

In terms of the updated graphics and controls, everything remains the same. However, the encounters just aren't there for me. Don't get me wrong. It's all action-packed and so on and so forth. It just seems like the actions was just piled on, after being rehashed from the HL2. Not bad. Just not great.

Episode Two

No, here's where everything picks up. Apparently, you've caused a bigger mess. A giant inter-dimensional portal is ripping apart the world, and it's your job, accompanied as always by Alyx McSexyJeans, to stop it. This time, you have to get to Alyx's father and help launch a missle carrying a solution into space. It won't be easy, though. New, and very BAD baddersons are about and will easily stop you. VERY easily.

My god. Every scene you play is riddled with heart-wrenching explosiveness. You hardly ever get a rest. It's a good thing that this is a short game. When fighting off wave after wave of not-so-friendlies, you're heart squeezes! Near-literally squeezes into some kind of prune. It even ties in nicely, if ever-so slightly with their new game Portal. "Cool," I squeal.

Portal

Imagine being a test subject for a giant building of puzzles. Figure out one puzzle to get onto the next. Sounds easy? No. Nononono. With Glados, the slightly deranged - and always hilarious - computer running the show, things get very dangerous, very quickly.

Things work pretty much as they do in the Half-Life games. This time, however, you're outfitted with a portal gun. Shoot one place, you get a blue portal. Shoot somewhere else, get an orange one. Go in one, come out the other. And now you can go places you've never imagined. The engine is really quite impressive, and as I understand it, very complex. This game really makes you think, as most puzzlers do - only this time, in a First-Person Shooter format. It's VERY short, and leaves you craving for more. Despite that, all the little hidden gems, makes this game worth playing over and over and over again. There is even a new map-pack you can download, though not for the Xbox 360, apparently. Or not yet, anyway.

Team Fortress 2

This is Valve's Class-based Multiplayer game that comes with the Orange Box. Being either red or blue, you can spawn as one of many types of characters that can perform many different kinds of actions, from building, to healing to spying.

The stylizing of the characters is very interesting. No game out there really looks like this game, and it's a plus. However, I do wish that within each class, there were several different models to choose from. Right now, there's only one per class and it's kind of boring. For me, the controls of the game weren't so hot. Everything was a bit too fast for me. Also, on the Xbox 360, the Matchmaking system is CRAP! Utter CRAP! It took me almost thirty-minutes to find anyone to play with, and for the first five minutes, it was ONLY ONE person. Team Multiplayer? Not really... Valve has their own 'LIVE'. It's called Steam, so I guess to bother hosting on both different systems would be a bit much for them.

In The End...

This mix of plastics and carbon make for one environmentally-unfriendly value that's well worth the price. The only downfall (in my mind) is Team Fortress 2, but that has more to do with politics than anything else.

Go to The Orange Box homepage.

Halo Series - Story(Microsoft/Bungie)

When I say that the Halo franchise from Bungie is one of my favorites, I'm not kidding, but I'm no hardcore über-fanboy, either. It's one of my favorites because they did everything right from the beginning to the end (mostly). The story was interesting, if not full of holes (I'll explain a bit later), the graphics were state of the art for the time of each game and they brought new things into the First Person Shooter category.

There's a lot of story, most of which I don't know. Why? Because it was NOT in the game. It came in the form of books and online easter eggs. I have no desire to get into any of these, so instead, I will fill in the holes myself. Oh yes...

The Story

Wal-Mart. The industry giant had grown too big for it's own good. Demanding servitude from the world's youngest and oldest and destroying city after city with it's everyday low prices, the planet Earth and it's surrounding colonies had enough. Being banned from first cities, then countries and continents, and eventually worlds, Wal-Mart was forced into the deeper reaches of space where it met and conquered many races in the distant galaxy.

Now, Wal-Mart is back sending it's newly formed Religion, the Covenant back into Earth's territory to reclaim what it had lost, under the pretense that humans are demons. Swarms of Elites, Grunts, Hunters, and Jackals attack. A raging war is fought, and Earth begins to loose. Uh-Oh.

The Pillar of Autumn, a war-ship of the UNSC escapes a terrible battle, but finds something very interesting. An immense ring in the middle of space which apparently holds life. The Covenant catch-up, however and send your ship hurdling to the surface, with all crew launched via escape pods.

You play Master Chief, the last of the genetically-modified super soldiers called Spartans. You are charged with the safe keeping of Cortana, The Pillar's sexy AI. If the Covenant get her, they know where Earth is. Wal-Mart must've forgotten to give them directions.

While battling your way through hordes of the Covenant, you discover more about the ring and accidently let loose an even worse threat, the Flood - a super parasitic group of hygienically-free nasties, who start to spread unhindered.

Guilty Spark, the caretaker of this Halo Installation hopes to kill all the flood by igniting the ring. The rings true purpose was for just that, but it kinda destroys EVERYTHING. Master Chief, having other ideas, blows it up instead.

Thanks to technology that was easily affordable at both Best Buy and Target, you find out that many of your non-genetically enhanced friends escaped that dire situation and are waiting for you patiently back at home. Hooray! While communicating with them back home, you dreamed of the cake you would eat back on Earth. Delicious Cheesecake with strawberries and chocolate. Sure, it goes right to your hips, but you don't care. You killed a lot of bad guys. You deserve cake.

After landing on the orbital defense station, you take a shower that makes Cortana very happy. When asking if she would return the favor, she says AIs don't take showers. After putting on your armor again as to hide your horrible, horrible mole, you head on over to the festivities where the cake waits for you.

Dang it! Apparently, the Covenant received an e-mail from Wal-Mart who googled the map to Earth and now they're attacking, AGAIN!

Meanwhile, the Arbiter - a disgraced Elite made to run a last suicide mission to save his honor - learns that the Covenant leaders, the Prophets, are perhaps a little fruit-loops. You see, they want to use the newly discovered Halo ARRAY to blow up the universe. Why? Because they believe they'll enter some kind of paradise with the Forerunners, the lost builders of the Halos. Kind of pissed, he now convinces his fellow Elites, his race of the Covenant to split from it and fight on the same side as the humans, allowing the Brutish Brutes to become top-dog in the Covenant.

Oh, and look! More Flood! They've gotten real busy lately, creating a Gravemind. He's like the voice for the masses! A real communist. When the Covenant find another Halo ring, Gravemind decides to put Master Chief and the Arbiter together to stop the religious idiots from blowing him, and everything else with him, up.

On a space-city, far from Earth, the Prophets find out that the key to lighting the Halo array is somewhere on Earth. This is no thanks to that frickin' floating lightbulb, Guilty Spark. Him again! They all pile onto a Forerunner ship and head to our humble, Wal-Mart-free planet, but not without the Chief! Leaving Cortana behind to hopefully blow up the Halo Rings, he makes it on board in a very dramatic fashion.

Then he has a sandwich. It's going to be a long trip! And trip he does. You see, some turbulence causes him to drop a pickle, which he then steps on, hurdling him into an airlock and out, somewhat luckily over Africa. WAY OVER Africa.

Crash landing - and yes, surviving - Master Chief teams up with the Arbiter and his friends to plow their way to a dig site that just happens to be the key to reaching The Ark, where the Covenant hope to activate the Rings. Far be it from the Flood to not show up at that critical point and cause all of Africa to become a hot, burning land. Well, more than already so.

A message, however reaches the Chief from dear old Cortana. She's got a plan and needs him to rescue her. With a new program allowing AIs to shower, he packs his tighty-whities and heads on over to the ark where he spends some time killing the last of the Covenant, saving Cortana's virtual slapper of an ass and blowing up the ark using the Floods own commandeered space city. And everything is right with the Universe, and showers for everyone!

Halo Series Part 2 - The Games

Halo Series - Games (Microsoft/Bungie)

You have to hand it to Bungie. They really took a first person shooter and made a great all around game. Other than that, the only FPS that actually stood up to it was Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64, but that was years previous. And to be honest, the only great thing about Goldeneye was the ALL-night multiplayer back in college - and man, did we SMELL in the morning. HOO!

Halo

The control scheme is as great as it is simple. It doesn't take you long to learn and master them, even with having thumb-sticks (Something I'm still not 100% partnered with). At the time, the graphics were top-notch. In fact, they still aren't all that bad. The only real pain about them is the faces. The Halo guys made awesome aliens, but terrible humans. Compared to a lot of games of even today, the graphics still hold up, I think.

The level designs were pretty nice, too. They were interesting and varied, and open. WIDE open. Up until then, First Person Shooters mainly relied on cramped quarters to get your adrenaline up. You never know when there's a baddy around that corner, right. Halo had a different tactic. Hide open space meant a lot of enemies. Enemies ALL around you, wanting your loving. Or death, which ever.

The set pieces were very interesting as well, nothing really repeated, well, minus the back-tracking. A lot of people complained about it, having to go back from where you came from, but I think it was well done. I mean, when you leave your house and come back, you're pretty much backtracking, but the scenarios may be different. That's what made it work in this game.

Getting to play co-op was pretty awesome. Really, for the first time, your actually rooting for the person next to you as opposed to screaming for their bloody corpse. And the ending was spectacular. Perhaps the best FPS ending of all time.

Halo 2

Out of all the games, I think Halo 2's is the best. Sure, you're back in tight quarters a bit, but none of the other openings screamed as much bad-assedness. The character designs have leveled up, yet still with the terrible-looking people.

This time the control scheme gets a bit of a boost, but not much of one. It pretty much stays the same, even when you play the Arbiter. That's right, you play as an Elite for about half the game, though, no, you don't get a choice. Many people didn't like this - a second story that runs parallel with the chiefs', but I did. I enjoyed playing an Elite and doing things differently. The cloak! I loved becoming invisible. Hooray for me!

Somethings didn't really impress me about the game, though. The encounters with the enemies really weren't as solid as they were in the first Halo. They were kind of boring, really. There weren't any concrete twists or turns when battling the hordes, which was kinda sad.

Another problem arises when I play the game on my Xbox 360. Some sort of 'ghosting' images appear on my screen as I'm playing - like a computer monitor that's been on for too long. They really screw with my eyes and give me a ripper of a migraine! Hooray for Epilepsy!

I won't comment on multiplayer as I've never played.

Halo 3 (Finish This Bitch!)

What a step-up! REALLY! This game is nice all the way through! Though still, bad, bad human character designs!

As this is for Microsoft's Next-Gen console, the graphics got some Redbull and really took off. It's really apparent right in the opening as you're running around the wilderness of Africa. The water is simply amazing! You get thirsty watching it, and your enemies have just become so much more gruesome. They couldn't have pulled it off without this system, I think.

The controls got updated with all the new goodies. You can new carry heavy weapons (that slow you down considerably), and various equipment that range from land mines, to various shields, cloak and even invincibility. Things haven't changed TOO much, however, if you play straight from 1 and 2 into 3, you'll notice a big difference. It can get a bit confusing, but then again, it happens anytime you switch games anyway. So many times have I cursed Halo 3 when I switch over to Call of Duty 4 and press the wrong button in multiplayer.

The encounters are back on par with the original. You get the same real sense of urgency as the first, especially when being completely surrounded by the flood. The ending! Once again, great stuff! It rivals the first for the greatest FPS ending, though looses out because the original was, well, original. And as an added bonus, you can play co-op with up to three other people (online), though I really haven't dabbled in it.

The Multiplayer is pretty cool! Especially when you hit the mute all button! You'll never have to listen to any of those basement dwelling twelve-year-olds again! You'll always have assholes, though, humping your dead body after they snuff you.

The Matchmaking system is pretty decent. The skill levels are pretty much evened out. Even still, you might face a team that just skunks you all hard and what not. Spawn points are good, too, as they pretty much get you away from the action. Very rarely have I ever been spawn-killed. Some of the levels, especially when paired with certain game-types do get a bit tedious though, like Rat's Nest. That map usually gets voted down real quickly.

You can even edit the levels, adding and subtracting and creating items within the levels, making your own game types, and then sharing them with people online. The only problem is, if you don't know too many people who play Halo 3, you might be out of luck on playing them. This is because Bungie hasn't really created a successful way of matching people into your game. You have to invite the hell out of everyone online at that moment, and hope they come. If Bungie used their matchmaking system to load people into a party and then auto switch the party leader so everyone gets a chance at showing off their maps, that would be sprinkles. For now, you have to find communities on the interwebs and schedule games. I'm just not THAT into it.

In The End...

If you really like FPS, then check these games out. The story is good, as well as the graphics and gameplay. There are many haters out there, but don't listen to them. They haven't seen the sun in a couple of days. Poor things are confused...

Halo Series Part 1 - The Story

Go to the Bungie homepage.

Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO (Capcom)

I love Capcom's fighters! Out of all the fighting games out there, they are the most player-friendly and exciting! You don't have to be a pro to do well, but the games are so rich that you could play them for forever and never get bored!

There were some of the Street Fighters that started to bug me with counters and auto-reverse counters and super auto-reversing-reverse counter power-up attack fireball extinguishing attacks... I just avoided those games. My favorites though were actually the Rival School games, the Marvel vs. Capcom games and these, the Capcom vs. SNK games. However, do not get them confused with the SNK vs. Capcom games. Unless you are a hardcore SNK fanperson, let's avoid these games all together, shall we?



So let me tell you, dear reader, that I was very excited to play this game! It wasn't very expensive and the chance to salivate over my favorite characters again was too much to bear! I had to buy it!

So let me tell you, dear reader, that when I brought it home and put it into my Xbox 360, you could hear my heart shatter into a million-billion-trillion pieces. I shat bricks! Why? Because Microsoft had yet to provide an emulator, you see... Let me explain.

"Backward Compatibility"

Both Sony and Nintendo have gone great lengths to make sure that the previous games you had still ran on the newest of their consoles. Playstation and Playstation 2 games play on the Playstation 3. Gamecube games play on the Wii. Microsoft is a whole other issue.

The Xbox 360 is a much different machine from it's predecessor. One of the most noticeable differences comes in the form of no Nvidia graphics card. This plus some other factors have limited the way that original Xbox games are played it's Next-Gen brother. So much so that each of the hundreds of games made need their own emulator to work.

Does that sound crazy? That's because you, dear reader, are a rational human being.

For years, Microsoft was busy creating the emulators for games, while Xbox 360 owners waited patiently for months for them. Quite a large number of games have been ported. And now, in the glory of 2008, M$ has decided to considerably slow down the Xbox 360's Backward Compatibility updates. Guess what never made it onto the list...

Pissed Off Mikey!

Though there are many excuses as to why Microsoft failed their promise of 100% backward compatibility, none of them really fly. It just sounds like "We would find a better way, but it's hard..." Wah Wah Wah...

If games like Zan-Kabuki, a little nothing of a game that only I've heard of, can be backward compatible, why can't EVERY SINGLE CAPCOM game be? They are the captains of the fucking industry. Not one of their games should be missed for whatever fucking reason!



Well, M$ was focusing on the top-selling games. So if this wasn't a real big seller, then I'm screwed, right? I've got just on hyphenated word for you... Zan-KABUKI!!!!! Come on!

In The End...

I'm sorry this turned into a rant about the failings of Micro$oft, but they always fail so spectacularly, it's hard to get away from! I'm sure Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO would have been a pretty sweet game! For now, I will just have to dream of my darlings Chun-Li and Mai going at it. In some mud...

Naruto: Rise of a Ninja (Ubisoft)

Let me tell you something about this staple of Japanese culture. Naruto is no where near as good as it could be. The characters, more or less are the same stereotypical characters in all Japanese boy comics, reverting to the same cheezy acts as all the rest. I'm all for comics showing their culture, but I've gotten really tired with very few artists in this country trying something different in terms of story or art.

If you've ever read the comic, everything gets more than a bit repetitive, and with the lack of foreshadowing in Japanese writing styles, just way too straight forward. If you ever seen the animated TV show, you get all this plus filler episodes that are more so repetitive and boring.

That being said, I can forgive (nearly) all of this due to this game. It got a lot of hype, and it delivers on (most) of what it promises.

The Story

You play, obviously, Naruto, our out-of-luck and friends hero. You mission, to get everyone to like you. That's so sweet! You see, a giant demon fox was busy rampaging and killing everyone, and one of the legendary Leaf Village Hokages (top-of-the-top ninja) magically seals this demon into Naruto's tummy.

Fast-forward many moons, and nobody likes him, though it seems not everyone knows why they don't like him. They just KNOW that he's no good.


As he is the sterotypically Japanese hero, he's not very smart and has a loud mouth. But, he's a hard worker with big dreams! So he works hard to fulfill those dreams. Huzzah! What are those dreams? Well, to be the next Hokage, of course!

The Game

The game is an interesting mix of cell-animated characters, realistic settings and cut scenes from the 80 episodes of the TV show. 80 episodes? Wha? That's right! There was a lot of editing done here, and unfortunately, I have to say, not extremely well. These cut scenes seem out of place and don't synch well with the story being presented in the game. The game could have used less of these videos and more in-game videos.

There are ALOT of different mechanics working in this game for the different parts of the game. This is to be expected though as to understand what it is to be a ninja in this comic, there are many skills and techniques to master. You'll have to learn to run and hop from pace to place without running into every little item. You've got to learn how to climb trees, run on water and break impossible-to-break items.

And then, on top of all that, is the actual fighting system. Just like in games like Soul Calibur and Virtua Fighter, to become a good fighter, you have to master ALOT of combinations. And then, on top of that you have to learn to master the super-combos, which require precise timing. It may seem like a lot of things to learn, but, the game breaks it down into manageable pieces of learning. This is a big, open-world game with lots of time to practice what you've learned.


Like mini-games? This disk is packed with them. From delivering ramen to the same fat guy all over the place, to running errands for random people, running races and satisfying the hungry ambitions of familiar horny men, there are tons of things for a young boy to do.

You can even customize the Naruto buy buying new weapons and upgrades. You can get exploding shuriken, extra big bowls of ramen (his favorite treat) and scrolls. Scrolls help you manage Naruto's abilities, allowing you to get certain advantages over your enemies.

Several things come to mind, though, that I think take away from the game. I mentioned up top that the video cut-scenes are pretty worthless. Something else is that everyone in the Leaf Village is the same. I understand that it's done to save space, but it just makes the game repetitive. This goes for your 'various' enemies that spring up. There are plenty, but when you're running around playing mini-games or something, it's tiring to see the same face you slaughtered the last time.

Another issue I have is in Versus mode. I can pick a bevy of Naruto characters, but the issue, as with so many fighting games that aren't made by Capcom, is that there's too much to learn and no reasonable way to learn it. You have to learn each move within the fight itself. It wouldn't have killed Ubisoft to throw a training module.


The last thing that pisses me off is the terrible pronunciation of the Japanese words by the employees of Ubisoft Montreal. If you are such über-fans of the show as you claim, learn how to pronounce their names, at least for crissakes!

In The End...

I like this game a lot. It was the first game I've bought of it's kind as it impressed me so much. I hope that Ubisoft will get over some of the limitations they have in this game in the follow up, The Broken Bond.

Go to Ubisoft's Naruto: Rise of a Ninja Homepage.