Halo Series - Story(Microsoft/Bungie)

When I say that the Halo franchise from Bungie is one of my favorites, I'm not kidding, but I'm no hardcore über-fanboy, either. It's one of my favorites because they did everything right from the beginning to the end (mostly). The story was interesting, if not full of holes (I'll explain a bit later), the graphics were state of the art for the time of each game and they brought new things into the First Person Shooter category.

There's a lot of story, most of which I don't know. Why? Because it was NOT in the game. It came in the form of books and online easter eggs. I have no desire to get into any of these, so instead, I will fill in the holes myself. Oh yes...

The Story

Wal-Mart. The industry giant had grown too big for it's own good. Demanding servitude from the world's youngest and oldest and destroying city after city with it's everyday low prices, the planet Earth and it's surrounding colonies had enough. Being banned from first cities, then countries and continents, and eventually worlds, Wal-Mart was forced into the deeper reaches of space where it met and conquered many races in the distant galaxy.

Now, Wal-Mart is back sending it's newly formed Religion, the Covenant back into Earth's territory to reclaim what it had lost, under the pretense that humans are demons. Swarms of Elites, Grunts, Hunters, and Jackals attack. A raging war is fought, and Earth begins to loose. Uh-Oh.

The Pillar of Autumn, a war-ship of the UNSC escapes a terrible battle, but finds something very interesting. An immense ring in the middle of space which apparently holds life. The Covenant catch-up, however and send your ship hurdling to the surface, with all crew launched via escape pods.

You play Master Chief, the last of the genetically-modified super soldiers called Spartans. You are charged with the safe keeping of Cortana, The Pillar's sexy AI. If the Covenant get her, they know where Earth is. Wal-Mart must've forgotten to give them directions.

While battling your way through hordes of the Covenant, you discover more about the ring and accidently let loose an even worse threat, the Flood - a super parasitic group of hygienically-free nasties, who start to spread unhindered.

Guilty Spark, the caretaker of this Halo Installation hopes to kill all the flood by igniting the ring. The rings true purpose was for just that, but it kinda destroys EVERYTHING. Master Chief, having other ideas, blows it up instead.

Thanks to technology that was easily affordable at both Best Buy and Target, you find out that many of your non-genetically enhanced friends escaped that dire situation and are waiting for you patiently back at home. Hooray! While communicating with them back home, you dreamed of the cake you would eat back on Earth. Delicious Cheesecake with strawberries and chocolate. Sure, it goes right to your hips, but you don't care. You killed a lot of bad guys. You deserve cake.

After landing on the orbital defense station, you take a shower that makes Cortana very happy. When asking if she would return the favor, she says AIs don't take showers. After putting on your armor again as to hide your horrible, horrible mole, you head on over to the festivities where the cake waits for you.

Dang it! Apparently, the Covenant received an e-mail from Wal-Mart who googled the map to Earth and now they're attacking, AGAIN!

Meanwhile, the Arbiter - a disgraced Elite made to run a last suicide mission to save his honor - learns that the Covenant leaders, the Prophets, are perhaps a little fruit-loops. You see, they want to use the newly discovered Halo ARRAY to blow up the universe. Why? Because they believe they'll enter some kind of paradise with the Forerunners, the lost builders of the Halos. Kind of pissed, he now convinces his fellow Elites, his race of the Covenant to split from it and fight on the same side as the humans, allowing the Brutish Brutes to become top-dog in the Covenant.

Oh, and look! More Flood! They've gotten real busy lately, creating a Gravemind. He's like the voice for the masses! A real communist. When the Covenant find another Halo ring, Gravemind decides to put Master Chief and the Arbiter together to stop the religious idiots from blowing him, and everything else with him, up.

On a space-city, far from Earth, the Prophets find out that the key to lighting the Halo array is somewhere on Earth. This is no thanks to that frickin' floating lightbulb, Guilty Spark. Him again! They all pile onto a Forerunner ship and head to our humble, Wal-Mart-free planet, but not without the Chief! Leaving Cortana behind to hopefully blow up the Halo Rings, he makes it on board in a very dramatic fashion.

Then he has a sandwich. It's going to be a long trip! And trip he does. You see, some turbulence causes him to drop a pickle, which he then steps on, hurdling him into an airlock and out, somewhat luckily over Africa. WAY OVER Africa.

Crash landing - and yes, surviving - Master Chief teams up with the Arbiter and his friends to plow their way to a dig site that just happens to be the key to reaching The Ark, where the Covenant hope to activate the Rings. Far be it from the Flood to not show up at that critical point and cause all of Africa to become a hot, burning land. Well, more than already so.

A message, however reaches the Chief from dear old Cortana. She's got a plan and needs him to rescue her. With a new program allowing AIs to shower, he packs his tighty-whities and heads on over to the ark where he spends some time killing the last of the Covenant, saving Cortana's virtual slapper of an ass and blowing up the ark using the Floods own commandeered space city. And everything is right with the Universe, and showers for everyone!

Halo Series Part 2 - The Games

Halo Series - Games (Microsoft/Bungie)

You have to hand it to Bungie. They really took a first person shooter and made a great all around game. Other than that, the only FPS that actually stood up to it was Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64, but that was years previous. And to be honest, the only great thing about Goldeneye was the ALL-night multiplayer back in college - and man, did we SMELL in the morning. HOO!

Halo

The control scheme is as great as it is simple. It doesn't take you long to learn and master them, even with having thumb-sticks (Something I'm still not 100% partnered with). At the time, the graphics were top-notch. In fact, they still aren't all that bad. The only real pain about them is the faces. The Halo guys made awesome aliens, but terrible humans. Compared to a lot of games of even today, the graphics still hold up, I think.

The level designs were pretty nice, too. They were interesting and varied, and open. WIDE open. Up until then, First Person Shooters mainly relied on cramped quarters to get your adrenaline up. You never know when there's a baddy around that corner, right. Halo had a different tactic. Hide open space meant a lot of enemies. Enemies ALL around you, wanting your loving. Or death, which ever.

The set pieces were very interesting as well, nothing really repeated, well, minus the back-tracking. A lot of people complained about it, having to go back from where you came from, but I think it was well done. I mean, when you leave your house and come back, you're pretty much backtracking, but the scenarios may be different. That's what made it work in this game.

Getting to play co-op was pretty awesome. Really, for the first time, your actually rooting for the person next to you as opposed to screaming for their bloody corpse. And the ending was spectacular. Perhaps the best FPS ending of all time.

Halo 2

Out of all the games, I think Halo 2's is the best. Sure, you're back in tight quarters a bit, but none of the other openings screamed as much bad-assedness. The character designs have leveled up, yet still with the terrible-looking people.

This time the control scheme gets a bit of a boost, but not much of one. It pretty much stays the same, even when you play the Arbiter. That's right, you play as an Elite for about half the game, though, no, you don't get a choice. Many people didn't like this - a second story that runs parallel with the chiefs', but I did. I enjoyed playing an Elite and doing things differently. The cloak! I loved becoming invisible. Hooray for me!

Somethings didn't really impress me about the game, though. The encounters with the enemies really weren't as solid as they were in the first Halo. They were kind of boring, really. There weren't any concrete twists or turns when battling the hordes, which was kinda sad.

Another problem arises when I play the game on my Xbox 360. Some sort of 'ghosting' images appear on my screen as I'm playing - like a computer monitor that's been on for too long. They really screw with my eyes and give me a ripper of a migraine! Hooray for Epilepsy!

I won't comment on multiplayer as I've never played.

Halo 3 (Finish This Bitch!)

What a step-up! REALLY! This game is nice all the way through! Though still, bad, bad human character designs!

As this is for Microsoft's Next-Gen console, the graphics got some Redbull and really took off. It's really apparent right in the opening as you're running around the wilderness of Africa. The water is simply amazing! You get thirsty watching it, and your enemies have just become so much more gruesome. They couldn't have pulled it off without this system, I think.

The controls got updated with all the new goodies. You can new carry heavy weapons (that slow you down considerably), and various equipment that range from land mines, to various shields, cloak and even invincibility. Things haven't changed TOO much, however, if you play straight from 1 and 2 into 3, you'll notice a big difference. It can get a bit confusing, but then again, it happens anytime you switch games anyway. So many times have I cursed Halo 3 when I switch over to Call of Duty 4 and press the wrong button in multiplayer.

The encounters are back on par with the original. You get the same real sense of urgency as the first, especially when being completely surrounded by the flood. The ending! Once again, great stuff! It rivals the first for the greatest FPS ending, though looses out because the original was, well, original. And as an added bonus, you can play co-op with up to three other people (online), though I really haven't dabbled in it.

The Multiplayer is pretty cool! Especially when you hit the mute all button! You'll never have to listen to any of those basement dwelling twelve-year-olds again! You'll always have assholes, though, humping your dead body after they snuff you.

The Matchmaking system is pretty decent. The skill levels are pretty much evened out. Even still, you might face a team that just skunks you all hard and what not. Spawn points are good, too, as they pretty much get you away from the action. Very rarely have I ever been spawn-killed. Some of the levels, especially when paired with certain game-types do get a bit tedious though, like Rat's Nest. That map usually gets voted down real quickly.

You can even edit the levels, adding and subtracting and creating items within the levels, making your own game types, and then sharing them with people online. The only problem is, if you don't know too many people who play Halo 3, you might be out of luck on playing them. This is because Bungie hasn't really created a successful way of matching people into your game. You have to invite the hell out of everyone online at that moment, and hope they come. If Bungie used their matchmaking system to load people into a party and then auto switch the party leader so everyone gets a chance at showing off their maps, that would be sprinkles. For now, you have to find communities on the interwebs and schedule games. I'm just not THAT into it.

In The End...

If you really like FPS, then check these games out. The story is good, as well as the graphics and gameplay. There are many haters out there, but don't listen to them. They haven't seen the sun in a couple of days. Poor things are confused...

Halo Series Part 1 - The Story

Go to the Bungie homepage.

Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO (Capcom)

I love Capcom's fighters! Out of all the fighting games out there, they are the most player-friendly and exciting! You don't have to be a pro to do well, but the games are so rich that you could play them for forever and never get bored!

There were some of the Street Fighters that started to bug me with counters and auto-reverse counters and super auto-reversing-reverse counter power-up attack fireball extinguishing attacks... I just avoided those games. My favorites though were actually the Rival School games, the Marvel vs. Capcom games and these, the Capcom vs. SNK games. However, do not get them confused with the SNK vs. Capcom games. Unless you are a hardcore SNK fanperson, let's avoid these games all together, shall we?



So let me tell you, dear reader, that I was very excited to play this game! It wasn't very expensive and the chance to salivate over my favorite characters again was too much to bear! I had to buy it!

So let me tell you, dear reader, that when I brought it home and put it into my Xbox 360, you could hear my heart shatter into a million-billion-trillion pieces. I shat bricks! Why? Because Microsoft had yet to provide an emulator, you see... Let me explain.

"Backward Compatibility"

Both Sony and Nintendo have gone great lengths to make sure that the previous games you had still ran on the newest of their consoles. Playstation and Playstation 2 games play on the Playstation 3. Gamecube games play on the Wii. Microsoft is a whole other issue.

The Xbox 360 is a much different machine from it's predecessor. One of the most noticeable differences comes in the form of no Nvidia graphics card. This plus some other factors have limited the way that original Xbox games are played it's Next-Gen brother. So much so that each of the hundreds of games made need their own emulator to work.

Does that sound crazy? That's because you, dear reader, are a rational human being.

For years, Microsoft was busy creating the emulators for games, while Xbox 360 owners waited patiently for months for them. Quite a large number of games have been ported. And now, in the glory of 2008, M$ has decided to considerably slow down the Xbox 360's Backward Compatibility updates. Guess what never made it onto the list...

Pissed Off Mikey!

Though there are many excuses as to why Microsoft failed their promise of 100% backward compatibility, none of them really fly. It just sounds like "We would find a better way, but it's hard..." Wah Wah Wah...

If games like Zan-Kabuki, a little nothing of a game that only I've heard of, can be backward compatible, why can't EVERY SINGLE CAPCOM game be? They are the captains of the fucking industry. Not one of their games should be missed for whatever fucking reason!



Well, M$ was focusing on the top-selling games. So if this wasn't a real big seller, then I'm screwed, right? I've got just on hyphenated word for you... Zan-KABUKI!!!!! Come on!

In The End...

I'm sorry this turned into a rant about the failings of Micro$oft, but they always fail so spectacularly, it's hard to get away from! I'm sure Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO would have been a pretty sweet game! For now, I will just have to dream of my darlings Chun-Li and Mai going at it. In some mud...

Naruto: Rise of a Ninja (Ubisoft)

Let me tell you something about this staple of Japanese culture. Naruto is no where near as good as it could be. The characters, more or less are the same stereotypical characters in all Japanese boy comics, reverting to the same cheezy acts as all the rest. I'm all for comics showing their culture, but I've gotten really tired with very few artists in this country trying something different in terms of story or art.

If you've ever read the comic, everything gets more than a bit repetitive, and with the lack of foreshadowing in Japanese writing styles, just way too straight forward. If you ever seen the animated TV show, you get all this plus filler episodes that are more so repetitive and boring.

That being said, I can forgive (nearly) all of this due to this game. It got a lot of hype, and it delivers on (most) of what it promises.

The Story

You play, obviously, Naruto, our out-of-luck and friends hero. You mission, to get everyone to like you. That's so sweet! You see, a giant demon fox was busy rampaging and killing everyone, and one of the legendary Leaf Village Hokages (top-of-the-top ninja) magically seals this demon into Naruto's tummy.

Fast-forward many moons, and nobody likes him, though it seems not everyone knows why they don't like him. They just KNOW that he's no good.


As he is the sterotypically Japanese hero, he's not very smart and has a loud mouth. But, he's a hard worker with big dreams! So he works hard to fulfill those dreams. Huzzah! What are those dreams? Well, to be the next Hokage, of course!

The Game

The game is an interesting mix of cell-animated characters, realistic settings and cut scenes from the 80 episodes of the TV show. 80 episodes? Wha? That's right! There was a lot of editing done here, and unfortunately, I have to say, not extremely well. These cut scenes seem out of place and don't synch well with the story being presented in the game. The game could have used less of these videos and more in-game videos.

There are ALOT of different mechanics working in this game for the different parts of the game. This is to be expected though as to understand what it is to be a ninja in this comic, there are many skills and techniques to master. You'll have to learn to run and hop from pace to place without running into every little item. You've got to learn how to climb trees, run on water and break impossible-to-break items.

And then, on top of all that, is the actual fighting system. Just like in games like Soul Calibur and Virtua Fighter, to become a good fighter, you have to master ALOT of combinations. And then, on top of that you have to learn to master the super-combos, which require precise timing. It may seem like a lot of things to learn, but, the game breaks it down into manageable pieces of learning. This is a big, open-world game with lots of time to practice what you've learned.


Like mini-games? This disk is packed with them. From delivering ramen to the same fat guy all over the place, to running errands for random people, running races and satisfying the hungry ambitions of familiar horny men, there are tons of things for a young boy to do.

You can even customize the Naruto buy buying new weapons and upgrades. You can get exploding shuriken, extra big bowls of ramen (his favorite treat) and scrolls. Scrolls help you manage Naruto's abilities, allowing you to get certain advantages over your enemies.

Several things come to mind, though, that I think take away from the game. I mentioned up top that the video cut-scenes are pretty worthless. Something else is that everyone in the Leaf Village is the same. I understand that it's done to save space, but it just makes the game repetitive. This goes for your 'various' enemies that spring up. There are plenty, but when you're running around playing mini-games or something, it's tiring to see the same face you slaughtered the last time.

Another issue I have is in Versus mode. I can pick a bevy of Naruto characters, but the issue, as with so many fighting games that aren't made by Capcom, is that there's too much to learn and no reasonable way to learn it. You have to learn each move within the fight itself. It wouldn't have killed Ubisoft to throw a training module.


The last thing that pisses me off is the terrible pronunciation of the Japanese words by the employees of Ubisoft Montreal. If you are such über-fans of the show as you claim, learn how to pronounce their names, at least for crissakes!

In The End...

I like this game a lot. It was the first game I've bought of it's kind as it impressed me so much. I hope that Ubisoft will get over some of the limitations they have in this game in the follow up, The Broken Bond.

Go to Ubisoft's Naruto: Rise of a Ninja Homepage.

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas (Ubisoft)

What's more famous than a Tom Clancy novel? A Tom Clancy movie! What's more famous than that? A Tom Clancy franchise video game! That's what!

Man, his lousy name is on everything. Soon, there will be a more action-oriented yuppy-cafe: Tom Clancy's The Hunt for Another Starbucks! More espionage-oriented clothing: Tom Clancy's Spywear! More foreshadowing-lacking Theme Parks: Tom Clancy's CIAland! What a very straight-forward world after all.

Anyway...

To The Story!

Always with the terrorists! This time, you have to stop a bunch of international terrorists from blowing up other nations, internationally! Any twists or turns a long the way. Nope, and that's the way TC likes it!

The Game

This is perhaps one of the most complicated shooters I've played in a while. With a nice duck'n cover system, you lead your team of specialists from room to room locating and stopping the bad men. Sometimes this means with stealthy techniques. Sometimes with a little computer hacking. Sometimes with a little brute force.

The range of equipment you get is pretty sweet, too. I fear that I must say that the load-out system is 'pretty deep'. You can choose any too guns, from snipers, to automatics and semi-automatic machine guns, to some pretty neat handguns. Plus, you have your choice of smoke grenades, frags, or flashbangs. If you're anything like me, however, you would be good to stay away from the flashbangs, as you would end up hurting yourself more than the enemy.

The graphics are nice, too. High level of detail, mixed in with nice color balances make a very pretty game (unlike the over-shininess of Gears of War). The mechanics are sweet, too. I love rappelling down ropes and taking guys out with pistols while upside-down. I'm also highly addicted to the snakecam. It's super-sweet!


Things I don't like about the game is the lack of save-points. There's nothing more infuriating that having to start all the way at the beginning of a level after dying somewhere 99% into the level. Make that a part of a higher difficulty level. Don't punish me severely because I don't play games religiously!

Also, let me skip that god-damned helicopter! Every time you fly in in a chopper, it takes like five minutes where you just look at your team. And if you die, God FORBID if you die, you're right back in that hell-icopter!

Another problem that I have with the game is that the story is not interesting. At all. There are no elements that get me motivated to really play. The best way to play is side-by-side with a friend. One that won't mock you or get pissed off every time you're bullet-fodder!

In The End...

This game is nice, though kind of uninspiring. If you have a friend to kill terrorists with, that's the better way to go. If you don't, I'd skip this game and get a real story-driven shooter.

Go to Ubisoft's Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas Homepage

Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis (Rockstar Games)

"You must be stoopid," you must be thinking. "Who da hell wud by a ping-pong game? Wat a noob!"
"Fuck off," I would reply.

I love playing table tennis! The real thing. Not the basement beer game, but the sport. It's fast! REAL fast! And smart, too! No other game truly has this level of play! Unfortunately: a) Generally, that's not a widespread idea in the good ol' USA, and b) it's too damned expensive to play here for real. Sure I can go to a local, run-down game place and play on those tables. I have, with friends, and it's fun. But I want the REAL sport. I want to play with people who would no doubt kick my ass to the ends of the Earth. And then I would play those above the age of six.

But alas, that doesn't seem to be a part of my near future, so I'll have to settle for the next best thing. A video game, but not just any game! A non-violent Rockstar game! Impossible, you say? Read on!

The Game

It's just what you think. You pick up a player, and play table tennis. You have to battle your way through tournament after tournament, always reaching for that gold.

The controls are sweet! You can move all around the table (just not past the net) to pick up your ball. If you swing too early, you miss. Swing too late? Boned. Each of the colored buttons has a different type of spin; top spin, back spin, right and left. With the aid of the buttons and the triggers, you can hit dead balls (no spin), or give your ordinary spin a sweet powerboost.

The serve system is great, too. It's metered, like many tennis games, giving you a balance between spin and power. I love killing the crap out of lobs, too, or chopping a guy down to size.



The more you play, the more you can unlock here, too. There are plenty of characters from all over the world, and the level of detail that went into making each character is phenomenal, from the faces, to the style of play. You can also unlock different costumes for each player as well as arenas.

In The End...

The only problem with this game is that it's best played with a bunch of people. Especially those who actually appreciate the game. If most of your friends are like mine, that brings the list of possible players down to zero. The interest for those who don't play the game is simply not there, really.

This game is good! REALLY good! However, in my heart, it's no substitute for the real thing.

Go to the Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis homepage.

Zan-Kabuki (Genki)

This is perhaps the weirdest game I have ever played. It's a fighting game for the original Xbox, and is oddly backward compatible.

The Story

To be honest with you, I have no REAL idea what the hell is going on with this game. It appears that you can choose any of these Kabuki actors to fight their way across Japan, moving from theater to theater gaining glory from your victories. Or so I gather, I think, ergo, I couldn't really tell you.

The Game

There are all sorts of strange characters, from the behind-the-scenes guys all dressed in black - and all the same - to guys done up in full make-up and costume. They even have a very pretty character that you realize is actually a man dressed up as a woman. This makes sense because in Kabuki, there are no actresses. It just doesn't make it any less creepy.

The graphics are nothing to really laugh at, though. For an Xbox game, they are actually pretty good, though it's apparent that not all the surfaces got as much attention as they should have.



The buttons aren't spectacular. The moves are interesting enough, but there isn't enough to satisfy, and they can be kind of confusing to pull off.

There are several modes. There's a single player mode where you just fight the various characters, and a versus mode. The most interesting mode though is where you actually travel across Japan. From theater to theater you travel, competing with other characters - either played by the computer, or up to four players. Every win from a theater gains you special cards that you pick from a pile. Those cards give you perks where you gain money, more characters for your posse, or even steal characters from another player.

In The End...

Interesting concept, this game is, but not enough to play for, let's say, more than a day. A short day. Of course the language barrier didn't help at all. We should have realized that maybe picking up this one wasn't the brightest of ideas, but I blame my wife. It was her idea. Couldn't complain about the price, though. 500 yen doesn't usually go so far in this country.

Gears of War (Microsoft/Epic)

I'm not always the most connected person when it comes to the world of gaming. Nor do I really care to be. Don't get me wrong, I love video games, but usually not the crowds that follow. So up until I moved to Japan, I had a few consoles, but played recreationally, never delving into any game outside my living room. Things weren't much different after moving here.

At first...

A friend and neighbor and video game enthusiast (to a degree), Norm, introduced me to the world of the Xbox 360, and all the wonders that almost make you forget (happily) that it isn't owned by Microsoft. The first game we played was this, Gears of War. This is really the game that decided it for me, and now I'm part - in-part- of the Microsoft family.

The story of the game is a bit vague at the moment, so I'm going to fill in what I think the missing pieces are at the moment...

Story

You inhabit the virtual body of Mr. Marcus Fenix, a man who once owned a very successful flower shop in the heart of the Starbucks infested, 'Blue' city. Life was wondrous for the young Fenix. He was rich, had a beautiful girl, and enough daisies to fill the hearts of all with happiness unending. That is, until Emergence Day.

The Locust, a fanatical group of Daisy-haters, and Republicans, dig their way out of the ground and start, as Republicans often do, shooting up the place. All seemed lost. So the Dems did something unexpected... they blew the crap out of everything. This made the Locust very angry as that was their job.

Several increments of time later, your friend, Mr. Santiago lets you out of prison. You'll remember him as the owner and operator of several Starbucks located across the street from your flower shop. Being there due to some pollen-related incedent, you're glad for the stretch. Now it's pay-back time for the loss of all your precious azaleas.

Your job, if you chose to not to go back to prison, is to find - ultimately - several ways of blowing the crap out of the Locust. On the way, you'll meet a veritable rainbow of former shop-owners and entertainers, such as Cole - former thrashball player and office line-backer, and Baird - the local mathlete.

The Game

This is an over the shoulder, third-person shooter and one of the first games of the type to employee a cover system, allowing you to duck behind rubble and wreckage. While most of the time this system works, and works well, instances of it's flaws rear their ugly heads. The most noticeable of times is when I can't for the life of me actually get OUT of cover. Instead, I start flying from wall to wall, loosing all perspective on the battle. Sometimes this has actually helped me out - hilariously - when being swarmed by the little doggy-like Locusts, the Wretches.

The graphics are pretty keen, mister. The level of detail that went into the game is great. I love seeing little torn posters occasionally, faded into the ruins of the city. I love knocking things over like bottles and cutting the crap out of furniture with me chain-saw. If Gears of War were a logging-competition game, I wouldn't love it any less. What I don't really like about it is the shininess of it all. I think that that which is meant to be bright goes a bit too far. I'm just glad I wear UV protected glasses.

The physics of the game are interesting. Not bad, the problem comes when I kill something that is so big that it should take all my guys to lift it's arm, I can kick it around like my wife does to me - way too easily. If Gears of War were a soccer game that uses bodies instead of balls, I wouldn't love it any less.

As with any game, there are glitches, however, and this one is no different. I love it when an enemy gets stuck in a place that I can't reach him - but of course, I have to kill him to continue.

And as with many games, there are cheap bosses, and this one is no different. I still haven't killed that frakkin' Raam on the hardest difficulty. It's impossible for a casual gamer like myself. Impossible I say! Damn you!

I'm not even going to get into mutliplayer as I haven't even tried it. I might just wait until the second game until that happens.

In The End...

This game is infinitely re-playable. I have picked it up and played it all the way through on at least four or five occasions since buying it. It's intensely fun, and fun to play with a friend sitting next to you who will laugh at and/or with you every second of the way. Check it out!

Go to Xbox's Gears of War page.

Dear Internet Explorer...I hate you...

Let's face it. If you look in and around the interwebs, you hear many very unsatisfied people when it comes to Internet Explorer. Many of these people being web designers.

Now, I'm no real web designer. I'm more of a web dabbler, but the fact that people still use crap web browsers like Internet Explorer (any version, really) really bites my ass. Microsoft (or the loving abbreviation, 'M$') hasn't really cared about creating any kind of web-standards compliant software in a long time.

Granted, all the web browser developers out there have their own idea as to what web-standards are. However, if I open a web page, or even design one (like this one) in Safari, ninety percent of the time, there will be no problems when I open that page in Mozilla Firefox or Opera, or any other web browser.

But IE. Man, IE sucks the big one badly. I'm getting exhausted trying to fix this site to look good in Internet Explorer 6 and under. Another problem is I don't have access to Windows, except for once a week, and that's during office hours. So trying to fix it in the little windows of time I do have is impossible.

I hate it this much, probably because I'm not a web-design proffesional. However, when I look about for possible fixes, I hear just as many gripes from REAL professionals, it's depressing. All the fixes that they suggest, all come with disclaimers on how their fixes are difficult to implement, or aren't perfect.

Some people have made suggestions along the lines of, build your site in Internet Explorer, and then make tweaks for all the other browsers - this is the easiest way. I can understand this suggestion, but as I've said before, I don't use Windows. I use a Macintosh. I have no desire to go back to using Windows. I have no alternative. Sure, I could use IE for Mac, but no one else does, and I find it's more flawed than it's Windows counterpart.

Dear, M$. Stop sucking!

The New is Now!

As some of you may have noticed, The look of RocketRat Blues has changed a bit. Well, really, a bit more than a bit. It's now SEXY! Woo HOO!!

There still are some things that are going to be updated in the future. These changes will happen when they happen. I'm about to move to a new apartment soon Freedom Tsuneyoshi (Yes, that's right, FREEDOM! Tsuneyoshi. I love the names the Japanese give their apartment buildings), so as it happens, the updates for this site won't be up for a little while, though I'm trying to get what I can done before the iMac goes in the box (Yes, that's right, I! Mac!!!)

These updates will also mean that all my other blogs, now seen in the new and quite beautiful Navigation Bar, will also change. Somethings remain the same while other elements will differ. Ooo...The tingling!

Anyway, enjoy, and I'll see you all soon!

O'Reilly Links Mass Murder to Athiesm

The thing I do admire about O'Reilly is that he can make connections to anything.

Whether or not they make any sense whatsoever, that is apparently up to God.