Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Lucky us! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix has recently come out in Japan, a week before the rest of the world. Huzzah! So naturally, I'll rub it in just a bit more...

Suckers! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

STORY
This installment introduces a bevy of new characters, for better or worse, and some interesting plot progression to the series. Tempers and agitation flare as the forces of the downright mean start being a bit abrasive. Well, a bit MORE abrasive.


The movie gets right down to business with Harry wallowing in his fledgling Emo-state, wondering why such rotten luck has befallen such a beloved character as himself.

And then things start to slide into it's downward spiral of slippery, yet pointy-rock-covered slide-of-pain.

More light is then shed upon those who fought 'He-who-shall-not-Squeak-in-a-bathtub" before, which during the course or the filum opens up the pasts of the children who are taking up the call.

The world of Ye Ol' Hogwarts - a school where it seems only one spell is taught a year - is once again turned topsy-turvy. Loyalties are questioned as the new Biyotch-In-Town seeks to make everyone into muppets of a bygone era. The punishment of non-compliance? Imagine a thousand PMS attacks focused into a single woman, crossed with potions, wands and meowing china. Not for the faint of heart.

With this Queen-of-Menstruation hot on their heels, Harry and friends raise an army of students to learn defensive magic. Who's to teach them? Well, Harry of course, the one student in Hogwarts who has experienced the most danger, and he actually teaches them something. And teaches them well, which makes me think what have all the other instructors in this so-called school have been doing. Friends from England have told me that the English education system is messed up, and I wouldn't have believed him, but Hogwarts...

All this leads to, but of course, the end, where the spectacle I've been waiting for four previous movies takes place. Lots of magic and boom - none done by Harry, but some by friends. It was satisfying and as I watched, I thought I could feel the cries of an entire generation of Evangelists, Born-agains and Jews-for-Jesus. Just for a moment.

AAAHHH......

CHARACTERS
I was never a big fan of Harry - as he would be dead 100 times over if it weren't for his friends, but I think his struggle through Emoness was pretty convincing. He seemed generally confused and defenseless (at least, for awhile).

I wish however, that the other characters, which seem to have so much going for them, seem to be there only to aid Harry, one time, in one movie, then become useless background fodder. Even Ron and Hermione seemed to have some important and useful skills in the first movie, that have either slowly faded or utterly disappeared by the second flick. I love these two characters much more than Harry and they seem to be getting the shaft.

WHAT I'D LIKE
It just seems to be that books that are five-hundred or more pages should never be turned into a single movie. It's nearly impossible to get a good sense of anything that the world and the characters have to offer. So much is lost and will never be seen.

Welcome to the world of television. If they had turned the Potter books into a short, high-quality HBO series, I think everything would play out better. I haven't read the books, but from what many tell me (and how geekish they get about it) there is so much more that is worth - and even necessary - getting into a series.

Ah well...

AND THE VERDICT
If you're a fan, then you have to see it. There are a lot of plot developments that you shouldn't miss, especially if you aren't hooked on the books but like the movies. If you don't care about characters so much and want to see some magification, then DEFINITELY see this one.

If you feel like these movies have been running thin lately, then this one's no better. I'd rent it and have fun with it at home. Cuddled up with your blankey, some hot cocoa and the image of the ideal mate floating in your head. Oh, and with your actual mate, too, I guess.

I think I'll give this movie a deteriorating 4 out of 5 ✯STARS✯, and bid you a good evening.