The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan

'You Can't Spoil What Already Is'

As it happens, I am one of the possibly shrinking fan-base of Mr. M. Night Shyamalans films. I have never been disappointed by any of his movies, and that includes Lady in the Water - which, in my opinion, is dumped on due to the fact that the dumpers never understood that it was a fairy tale to entertain children.

That being said, I'm going to tell you why I think his latest opus is a piece of crap. I'm putting it that bluntly because, well, that's how it was given. Bluntly.

The Story

A mysterious plagued hits the Northeast of the United States, causing all those it affects to kill themselves. Mark Wahlberg plays a high school science teacher with a slightly troubled marriage. When these attacks start to spread, Mr. Wahlberg grabs his wife (Zooey Dechanel), his fellow teacher (John Leguizamo) and his daughter. These attacks begin to spread quickly, and the remaining survivors try to reach any unaffected areas they can.

Science May Say Nay

I did enjoy the premise of the movie: The human race is killing the planet, so the planet decides to return the favor. However, as enjoyable the premise is, Mr. Shyamalan never once makes it believable. The idea is that plants, choking on the pollution we spew, evolve to release a chemical that inhibits our survival instincts. Sure, OK. However, how this equates to people going out of their way to kill themselves is beyond any reasoning I can think of.

Also, he makes it seem as though some people may be immune, but never goes beyond them having 'Oh, My God!' expressions before we never see or hear from them again.

Also, people hide themselves in their house, hoping to weather this storm. Why would that stop the poison from getting in? Houses are not really all that air-tight.

The Mood is Grim

M. Night usually mixes some existential ideas that converge with the events that are happening around the characters. The time around, he seems to be exploring mood and how it defines our relationships with others. Mr. Wahlberg's Mood Ring is the center piece of this idea, highlighted by happy chats with plants, plastic or real. One would expect that being happy and in love during this crisis would be the immunity from the storm. Yeah, no. He kind of drops the whole idea before it has a chance to make sense.

Foreshadowing Lost

The whole idea of foreshadowing is to give hints about what will happen later on in the story. He gives us images that make us expect things that never come. For instance, Mr. Wahlberg is trapped in a house when the poison begins to spread. The CRAZY old woman who owns the house goes off to kill herself, but it seems that she's actually chasing him while smashing her head through the windows (thinking that her angry mood has set her off on a killing rampage). Mr. Wahlberg closes a door behind him on holds onto the knob for dear life. I spent the next three minutes expecting granny to come crashing through. Yeah, nope.

Sometimes, he quite bluntly told us what to expect. A Scientist on TV explains that after the event climaxes, we'll see a sharp halt. So we already know that when Mr. Wahlberg and his now loving wife, Ms. Deschanel decide to not care about their own survival (not induced by the plants) and go outside to meet each other in a field, to die together, the event's over. Um, yeah.

>Not Al's Gore

Foregoing his usual cinematic style of only hinting at the bloody violence that ensues in the story, it seems that Mr. Shyamalan wanted to make blood a chief character. From stabbings in the neck, bullets to the brain, broken bodies from falls, and even some limbs being torn asunder by cute little lions, even the most squeamish in my group found it hilarious, while keeping her eyes closed throughout the whole movie.

The Acting and Directing

Atrocious.

In The End...

I'm very glad that my group of friends who went to see it got discount tickets (as movies are so bloody expensive in this country). My wallet only took a relatively minor hit. But if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't even rent this horrid thing.