When upon the visit from Death relieves me of my final, complaint-riddled breath, my meat-bag will be tanned to provide me with ever-continualness. All my bones and stuffing will be removed before the ceremony and an enormous novelty zipper will be stitched up my back.
For the ceremony, all the mournful attendees will bring an object they feel best represents me. Anything goes! During the happy, fun-time funeral, each saddened liver will stuff that object into the opening in my back, filling my leather shell to the brim before being zippered shut.
Placed on a stretcher, a pack of siberian sled-pigs (or the ordinary pink ones) shall pull my body into the entry hatch of the OPSIE - Orbital Pig Satellite and Intergalatic Explorer.
After the pigs exit the vehicle, the rotund, Elephant-sized, Golden pig will be launched into space where it float out into space to greet any possible life with the gifts stuffed in my fomer, of-the-living, pinata.
Then explode with all of the world's nuclear warheads on board. Two birds. One stone. And a pig.
And then the party can begin.
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