I never liked the idea of commenting on large sites such as the one I've been commenting, yet here I am. With my few hours in the wee morning to be on my own. Bored, unmotivated and looking interaction with people who speak English - on the Internet. Oh the woes.
Several days ago, I got into an argument. An Internet argument. Such things I have vowed never to do in the past, and yet here I am. Fighting with people, strangers, on the Internet.
Before you continue, if you so desire, please read the Kotaku post Lolita Arcade Shmup Gets Release Date. Here's my COMMENT. It isn't TOO long...
The short of it is, the post contains a photo of two young Japanese girls in costume at a game convention. There were many comments about how hot they are and how (commenter) would do naughty things to them. I understood that most people were making jokes, though I don't make those kind of comments. I, hoping to be funny, responded.
What I Did Wrong
I wrote a comment that was not funny. I did not review it. I just threw it up there, assuming that others would find it so. Now that I read it, however, I understand why others got upset over it. It was not a smart thing to do.
Then when those who believed me to be offensive began taking the offensive, I overreacted to a situation that should have never been. I said many things, and did not think things through for the most part. Like, perhaps, the fact that I honestly have know idea how old they are. I made a judgment based on my experience living here. Judgments, however, are not always accurate.
BABY FAT? I based part of my argument on that? Seriously? Something like that is hard to tell in a picture and does not truly show age as I do teach children much younger who have none, and much older who still do.
I made a very angry comment about how saying things like 'I'd hit that' is completely and totally horrible and those who say it are just the same. I don't believe that. It does disturb me a bit (especially dealing with those who, at least, look very young) but normally not to any degree where I would lash out against someone. In all likelihood nothing would ever come from such comments, and I (had in the beginning, at least) recognize that what these people said where, for the most part, jokes.
In My Defense
I know that if you make a joke that fails, or someone misconstrues it as something negative or attacking, you must explain that it was a joke forthright. If you try to claim it later, it simply looks like you're backing down while still maintaining your douchebaggery. The latter, however, is exactly what I did.
Let it be said, though, that my first post was supposed to be humorous. I did MEAN it as a joke. I don't make cartoon references if I want to be serious, such as I did with the South Park season 12 episode "Elementary School Musical" mention:
"Well, I'm out guys. If this is what's cool now, I'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm going to go home and kill myself.
Goodbye, friends."
I thought, being a popular show and all, people might recognize it and see what I was saying was a joke. This, however, didn't happen.
The reason I didn't say that this was a joke right off the bat was that I for some reason I thought I had to defend myself. I did not think. I reacted. Badly.
What I Did Right
Despite the fact that my first comment sounds attacking, I never made any following comments directly insulting to any one person. I tried to keep it clean, despite the angry undertones.
Consider This
When living somewhere for a long time, no matter where it may be, you usually become accustomed to your surroundings. You may have moved to that place from a different side of the country, or to an entirely different country all together.
I've lived in Japan new for quite a number of years. People who have done so, for the most part, will tell you that, for the most part, they can understand the differences in the ages of the people who live here. Are we perfect in our understanding? Never. Even when living back in The States, I could not be so exact with every living person. However, I think, most people can understand, including the people commenting here, can mostly tell how old the people around them are.
Despite my saying that I have been living in Japan for quite a number of years, I got the distinct impression that some believed that I did not live there, and maybe comparing those who were born and live in Asia to the people who live in the West. To do so would not make sense. It would be like comparing, lets say, red-delicious apples and granny-smiths. They're both apples, yes, but they look different on the outside, and have different tastes and textures.
What I've Learned
Only one person in that debate (not me) was thoughtful and level headed. Everyone should remember that what we write in these blogs or comments are not necessarily who we are, or even who we wish to be. They represent a part of who we are, but not the whole. Moreover, what is represented may not be literal. Our lives affect us in many ways, positive and negative. We just have to watch what we say to make sure - that for ourselves - we are not being terrible people. Something that is difficult often, even in the best of times.
We are all subject to each other's scrutiny. None of us can state or believe that we are morally or intelligently superior to anyone else (even if you do have a star next to your name - no offense). We are strangers to each other. Unless we know each other in real life, that will always be true.
All I can do now is try to make myself a better individual; and that, is a never-ending road.
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